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Google Aiming for Microsoft's Hostile Acquisition!

Google logo
Today morning, at about 10 AM PST, Google CEO, Eric Schmidt announced at the Palo Alto private residence of Google's founders that in the near future, Microsoft may be acquired by Google. Schmidt said that Google as a company holds more than eighty per cent of MS's shares in the market. And soon enough, all of market shares will be with Google, with a supreme power to do hostile acquisition of Microsoft.
Eric Schmidt, CEO of Google

Eric Schmidt (Google CEO): "We rule!"

With this revelation that could rock all areas of the current Internet and software field, Google could be in the forefront of offline and online software development. Within two hours after this shocking revelation, MS share prices dropped more than a half.
Microsoft logo

Once the acquisition is complete, a lot of changes are expected to happen in the software giant. Here are some of the highlights Schmidt spoke about:

MSN will be replaced with a Google social network, currently codenamed GSN.

Windows OS will be available as a free web-based operating system, with client-side browser (which is expected to be Google Chrome) as the interface. With this, you only need to download 10 MB of software in order to run an entire PC. Special editions of Windows for Mac and Linux are coming forth too.

Already, Google Docs and Spreadsheets™ has been in close contention with Microsoft's similar products, under the MS Office Suite. With the forced acquisition of Microsoft, Schmidt said, the Office Suite will be soon replaced with Google Docs and Spreadsheets, available free online.

Encarta will completely be replaced in Google search results by Wikipedia's substandard content.

MSDN and Visual Studio .NET Suite will be freely made available to users worldwide, online.

Google will stop MSN Spaces and will point the domain to Google Blogger instead.

All of MS AdCenter advertisers' credits will be dragged into their AdWords account.

Besides these changes, all of other MS products, such as the games, Xbox, Media Center, Media Room, Money, Expression, Silver Light, MSN TV, etc., will be replaced or reinvented to make their free counterparts, with Adsense incorporated in the most unanticipated of ways.

This forced acquisition of one of the largest software companies hasn't been even in the remotest dreams of any software professional.

Microsoft's decision to pay users worldwide to start using MS products instead of their free Google counterparts later this month had garnered quite a lot of attention. With this decision, users in the government and civilian sector in countries like Somalia, Uganda, Zaire, Zimbabwe, and South Mugabe were given each hundred dollars and a copy of Microsoft products, with monitoring programs preinstalled to make sure they are using only MS products and not Google's or Yahoo's.

But unanticipated acquisition of Microsoft was quite a shock to its board of directors. It has already shattered all their dreams. Microsoft's CEO, Steve Ballmer, was also seen quite disturbed and agitated in a press interview this morning held at his residence in New York. "We never anticipated it. It's a charade! A charade! A cunning charade! And we are finished!" He shouted at the press conference, shortly before stopping the conference midway.

Steve Ballmer (MS CEO): "We are finished!"

Google is partying tonight at the Mountain View, and "the World is invited!" shouted Sergey Brinn, the co-founder of Google.

[This prank of a blog post is meant only as entertainment today, the All Fools' Day!]


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